There are just so many things in the world that we are ignorant about. Aren't we all trapped and preoccupied with our little lives, our little ambitions, our unrealistic dreams? Perhaps not all i guess, and perhaps there are certain things worth remembering in life. I suppose God didn't equip man with such brains with infinite potential to go through life without recalling the wonderful things that happened on this little planet called Earth.
Yes... This is a dedication to all of my ( and our) 4 years in Victoria School. I have to admit that this place really seems like my second home now, all the teachers and friends are so warm, so sincere that it truly feels like we are one big family. To be honest, my first two years didn't really make as much as impact as the last two in this school. I came in a young boy, uncomfortable with mingling around and socializing with strangers ( yes, I know this statement is hard to believe). I'm glad that I chose this school, no regrets no matter what other stories I might hear about other schools.
Now, to all of 4c. You are a truly special class ( and I don't mean that in a degrading cutting mocking kind of way =) ). These two years spent with you guys have just been amazing... even that word is too mild, I feel. We have witnessed some of our fellow classmates being retained, our numbers dropping, the reputation we have - a notorious one indeed. And yet, there is SOMETHING about this very class that throws that all out of the window and makes me WANT to come to school. Seriously, who could forget how Srinivas openly mocked most or all of the teachers ( ok so he still does now but not for our entertainment). That genius can attempt to smuggle food using a shoe bag... wow... it would be humliatingly funny but I was involved haha.
I really don't want to go... it's hard to break away from so many friends. I know that most of us are going our separate ways after the O's and the worse part is that I'm not sure if we can keep this flame of friendship burning like it is. Graduation day is slowly ( but surely, surely)
It is coming.
I dread it, not completely. I long for it, not completely.
The more I think, the more i fear.
For friendship, for examinations.
Tremble, I do
At the thought of leaving you
All of you
I long to stay in this class
My heart cries, pleads to stay
But I have to go, I have no say
Remember
That forever we have something special
This bond that holds us together
Will ultimately last forever.
I know I'm not master poet, not trying to be emo or whatever. But truly if I could, I would not leave 4c. But all good things must come to an end before other beginnings... begin. I hope I wouldn't cry during Graduation Day... it would be embarrassing. These have been the two best years of my life. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, the spastic little boy who provides free entertainment.
And of course, who can forget our Victoria School teachers. These are the people who have guided us throughout our school life. Like them or not, I believe they still do things all for our sake. Their passion to teach is truly respectable, I salute all of you.
Let's start with individual dedications.
Mdm Tang- Yes, our very own form teacher for sec 4. I guess we all know that she can be a little strict at times. But of course, she always has the best of intentions, like all our teachers. She is patient and willing to teach us, and her punishments are extremely torturing ( sorry i meant interesting and meaningful =) ). After all, her favorite student is our very own Si Cheng!
Mr Hazrin- Haha, many people haven't been able to make Mr Hazrin blow his top, but our class has managed to accomplish this very feat. From slacking to sloppy work, Mr Hazrin will do whatever it takes to make us work, and it's for our own good. He has always been supportive and understanding, even sharing his personal life with us. Even treat us to chicken wings during VC siah... make us fat =)
Mr Khoo- I guess Mr Khoo is a very... well.... interesting character? Personally I'm don't really know him that well but I guess we could get Jun Heng to share a few words. But I can tell that he does put in effort in his work judging from his blog. And yet we still anger him by not checking...
Mr Lim- This is a man who needs no introduction. I remember when he first stepped into our sec 3 class, he had already established himself as the ultimate tyrant and dictator. But after getting to know him better, he also has a soft and fun side... albeit being very sarcastic and cutting at times =). Even so, his punishments never fail to humiliate the person and bring entertainment to the class! The best so far is probably he making Jun Heng hold the clock up and going to 4A to say that there's not much time left to prelim. Very evil indeed.
Miss Koh- Well... our class is like... one third literature, but I still feel the need to give her the rightful praise she doesn't ( i mean does) deserve. After all, this IS my favourite teacher we are talking about =D =D =D. In truth, this is one very fierce woman who will eat you up if you don't do her every command! All her students live in fear and awe of the great Miss Jennifer... GG man... GG! Haha acutally i think she's very dedicated to her work and really has a passion for teaching. This is one teacher I probably won't be forgetting anytime soon.
Mdm Lyana- Our very own chemistry teacher that was our form teacher in sec 3. Chem lessons have never been boring with her around. After all, she is a very sharp and witty teacher who will not fail to "suan" you if you step out of line. Her trademark is probably her false promises that we will have R&R after she goes through this " last piece of transparency"... that surprisingly always coincide with recess time. I guess her ability to teach the class in interesting ways makes her a great teacher.
Finally, Mrs Setho- Well, this has been our physics teacher for a whole one year. At first when she entered the class, she scolded us for being 10 mins late and insisted that we stand up straight to greet her properly. We all were like... Sian confirm physics sleep. Then after she has taught us for a period of time, we found that she's actually quite a fun person to be with, very mother-like. Even though she's a little naggy, we still like her for showing so much concern and patience for us naughty students.
Alright alright, I have to stop now. I just spent a whole hour writing this post out... hahaha there's just so much more I can say and i WANT to say. But as Mr Lim always say, Time waits for no man. Better get started on my chemistry soon before mdm lyana starts to suan me again.
Till next time... if there is a next time
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7 comments:
OK. Well, I'm just going to type whatever feelings I have here. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT post any other blog entries if not the blog admin will get all worked up again. (Is worked up a correct phrase to use?) I'll be rather frank about what you guys said about me here.
Firstly, about 2 months ago, after speaking to Yan Jie, I understood what was supposedly wrong with me. I tried to change, I seriously tried. I tried to catch your hints of my wrongdoings, although I failed miserably to notice your hints. You all did mention that everything was improving up till Teachers' Day, it did indeed (bear the stupid rhyming). But, I felt that hiding my own character wasn't like me. Yes, I do know that I'm negative, and very sarcastic as well. I've tried very hard, very hard, to tone down my comments. But I failed again. But for myself, I know that it is normal for me to be that way. I was like that in Primary school and Lower Secondary, and everyone didn't particularly mind me. It was only in Upper Secondary that such a reaction towards my character was seen. My church members never boycotted me, and neither did my former classmates.
Secondly, you all mentioned that all these were done to change me. Well, I appreciate your help. But, I'm sad to say that it didn't help much. It's hard to change one's character; it is normal for me to be negative and cutting. Also, you guys mentioned that I was and still am proud. Seriously speaking, this is the first time since lower primary that I have been called "prideful". No one, not even my church members, has ever told me such a thing. So until now, I still can't see how I'm proud. I presume that it is my cutting style of talking that makes me look as though I think of myself as high and mighty?
Thirdly, you all mentioned that I was, and still, insensitive to feelings. Honestly, I admit that I probably was insensitive to your emotions because of my normal negative tone that I always seem to speak in. But let me say something, I don't make comments just for the sake of making them. I usually have a motive for making my comments. Just like how I couldn't see you people's attitude towards me was to change me for the better, you guys probably (I guess) couldn't see that I wanted to help you guys whenever I make comments.
When you guys did all the 'suan~ing', have you people ever considered my emotions? I know that I did not consider yours', so you applied the principle of "An eye for an eye" and "Taste of one's own medicine"? Even if you guys thought that there was something wrong with me, shouldn't you come and tell me? I mean, because you presumed that I was proud, you thought I wasn't going to listen to you guys? This was one of the major reasons why I can't trust you guys now: Friends are supposed to point out mistakes and help each other. You guys didn't, but instead brought much pain and sorrow to me.
Do you guys actually know the effects of your actions? I was very deeply and emotionally hurt by you guys because I trusted you guys as friends. When you guys made such actions without letting your intentions clearly known, I thought you guys had fun 'suan~ing' and imitating me. As such, I let you all carry on without making much comments. But the imitation and 'suan~ings' got worse by the day, and you people hurt me more and more, probably without realising it. At that time, I had lost all faith and trust in you guys. I didn't know who I could actually talk to in class, and this completely suppressed me. It was this time that the inner self of me got stronger, and the human emotion of hate got stronger. I really didn't know what to do. After the 'suan~ing' stopped, things were, in my case, at a standstill. I didn't know how to reconcile with you people, cause firstly we hadn't talked for months. Next, I couldn't bring myself to trust you guys again. Now, I know I did mention to Joel that I want to try trusting you guys again, but I just can't... I just can't. I'm really doubtful over your acceptance of me again, and I find it really hard to talk to you people again. How can I trust people who have hurt me so deeply? And these people were the ones that I see everyday and I placed a lot of trust in! I just can't convince myself to trust in you guys. Are there any reasons for me to trust you guys? If there are, please enlighten me.
I have chosen my own path - I'll walk as Matthew and not the inner self of me. I decide to heed Brian and Mr. Khoos' advice (if it was counted as advice on Brian's part), that I should go look for people who are willing to accept me. (I already have such friends outside of school, and within the school as well, and I thank GOD for that.) I'm also thankful to people like Chun Kang, Ji Xian, Jun Heng and others, that they decided to look on my good points instead of my bad ones. Because the rest of you guys just seemed to only notice all my bad points, and make me feel unappreciated totally. I thought that I was so bad that I don't have any friends whom I can talk to. Am I that bad, to the extent that I have no good points in me at all?
I'll no longer trust you guys as much as I did when I first stepped into 3C, and please don't blame of 'suan' me because I made this statement. I just can't bring myself to trust you guys all over again after all the emotional trauma I went through. For a few nights (a few months ago that is), I cried myself to sleep, thinking of solutions and reasons as to why you guys 'hated' me so much. I really couldn't understand your reasons behind what you did, cause your actions were not at all logical to me. I just can't seem to understand your reasons behind your actions.
Finally, the reason why I'm typing this here is that I don't know how to approach you guys and start a conversation with you guys. Because your actions give me the impression that each time I open my mouth, I will ALWAYS say something negative. I don't want to offend you guys again, that's why I thought it was better for me to type out everything I felt. As for my odd quirks and blasting of Japanese music in class, I can only say sorry if they offend anyone. I still can't see the 'odd quirks' you people mention though.
omg i've just wasted another 15 mins of my life reading something which i'd already read a few days ago.
"My church members never boycotted me, and neither did my former classmates."in reply to this sentence...im seriously sory to say dis,but i guess its jus u n your insensitivity again...church members i donno,but former classmatessss......well,i wouldnt be so sure^^
"My church members never boycotted me, and neither did my former classmates."in reply to this sentence...im seriously sory to say dis,but i guess its jus u n your insensitivity again...church members i donno,but former classmatessss......well,i wouldnt be so sure^^
"My church members never boycotted me, and neither did my former classmates."in reply to this sentence...im seriously sory to say dis,but i guess its jus u n your insensitivity again...church members i donno,but former classmatessss......well,i wouldnt be so sure^^
"im seriously sory to say dis,but i guess its jus u n your insensitivity again...church members i donno,but former classmatessss......well,i wouldnt be so sure^^"
point to note: i said 'boycott' and not 'dislike'... there's a difference... Of course i know that there were people who dislike me in sec 1 and 2... you think wat, i'm stupid?
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